Mommy Belly

It’s a wonderful place where a baby grew. That safe little haven, a nest where the baby received it first nutrients and stretch it’s little legs. It’s also the place that used to be flat and firm. Now you can fit about a whole fist between the two halves of muscles on either side. This is officially called diastasis recti and it’s surprisingly common and unsurprisingly, women are ashamed and embarrassed to talk about it.

I coach runners that struggled with it, some are still trying to overcome it, and others just pray their high waisted Lululemon are enough. And sure, those high waisted leggings can make for a fabulous figure, they disguise the problem, a problem that can go undiagnosed and untreated for YEARS! Diastasis recti can lead to poor pelvic floor function, achy backs and let’s face it, self esteem issues. That’s me!!! and maybe it is you too. I was probably 3 years post partum the first time I realized it was possible to get help with this area. I literally told a runner at the shoe store that I really just needed Spanx so I could look like a runner again. She laughed in an uncomfortable way because she doesn't have children and most people probably just assumed I had one too many cupcakes. But it was there, this little mom belly that was firm on either side, but the sides were still three fingers width away from each other. It distance is measured by placing finger tips in the space horizontally across the belly (think pinky on the right side and pointer finger to left…depending on how many fit in the space…count your lucky stars if there is no space for even one finger).

Following the birth of my first child, I worked my core holding both sides together with a long sleeve t-shirt or sweatshirt, I would pull it tight from each side and then do core work, thanks to the advice of my midwife. And it helped, but those muscles had 30+ years of sticking tight to each other. I remember how much I felt like I needed to stretch my stomach by leaning back in a “camel” pose, until the fateful day they just ripped apart and I looked like I had a hump protruding between the two halves. I had no idea then what I was looking at, but it was my uterus protruding between the two sides.

I was devastated about the state of my body following pregnancy and childbirth. I was angry with the comments from women about how the body bounces back. It’s an outright lie. I spent 2 hours at the gym 6 days a week working my muscles and loosing baby weight. Sure, I lost weight. I suffered a ton emotionally too. Some moms were outright rude about how I should just appreciate that I have a healthy baby. On what planet do we ignore the health of the mom? Oh, wait. Here, yep, here on Earth. By why do women say these things to mom? It completely discredits our needs and can potentially damage the bonding time between mom and baby. Every pregnancy and every child birth is significant to the woman experiencing it, we should honor that.

Let’s fast forward, I started cycling a lot, and I started experiencing a lot of pelvic pain. So I stopped cycling and started seeing a chiropractor and I had more pain! UGH!!! I felt like the world didn’t care. until I had a conversation with a woman that rebounded from child birth (seemingly) like no one else. The answer was pilates! I worked hard at it for a year and it made a huge difference in my function and confidence.

Last night I changed from work clothes into my fuzzy pink teddy bear sweats and a tight black shirt and I almost cried because I looked 5 months pregnant!!! My abs look great in the morning but give out after about three hours of my day starting. But this was bad, they were bulging!!! I’ve been in denial because I typically throw on a sweater too and don’t see this much of my body. But it was undeniable. And sad. I felt punished. I wanted to blame the responsibility of four jobs, graduate school, parenting and wine! I walked by the mirror no less than eight times last night trying to see if a different perspective would reveal a different narrative. It didn’t.

I can stay bundled up for at least five or 6 months before anyone really notices (I tell myself). But what if I could just face it and tackle the issues now? The sides of my abdomen are so far apart they might as well have different zip codes. I honestly think it might make no difference if I eat all the sugar cookies and drink all the hot chocolate because I feel so far away from me. Yes, for me, I need to feel in tune with my body and when it’s too fleshy or bulging, I don’t feel like me. But where to start?

Where would you start? Toss the wine? Start keto? Get to the gym everyday?

What’s reasonable? Here’s a list of activities and how many calories each burns.

Yep, that is where I am at. It’s cold outside and the days are short. I want to drink wine bundled up at night. I want to finish my last two classes and then celebrate by taking a night ski but I am pretty sure it would be a difficult ski due to my current state of fitness. I run twice a week and lift once or twice a week, if possible.

How do you make it work?

I am considering ordering a nordictrack because I loved it in college and I don’t get on the treadmill I have…like ever! Except for moments of desperation when the garage is warm enough and no kids are around to take turns running (ie interrupting my workout). However, it seems like a good place to start would be a 10 minute commitment to myself (maybe before wine?), to knock out some core work?