Girls Night Out

You’ve planned it. Childcare is covered. You are excited about dressing up and having fun adult conversation because you desperately need social time after years of saying no to going out because…responsibilities. Tonight as it was time to put kids to bed I picked up my phone to check the time and messages, low and behold, “Girls Night, where are you bitch? We’ve already missed the first question.” Dang it! I say and my entire family replies with a “What?”. I explain that I made a mistake on the day and almost everyone assures me I should go, except the smallest, who throws a giant sized tantrum and declares that he will go with me.

I know the day will come when he could careless where I go or for how long, except when he might need to know so he can clear his own party from the house. *Note to self: Never leave kids unattended for any period that would allow for a party. But knowing that the time will come doesn’t make these nights any easier, it just makes the fact that time passes so quickly, really, really sad.

But it’s also a reminder that I don’t know myself separate from my kids. They literally define me. It’s no wonder moms talk about kids all the time, because they take up all the time. Think back to the last book you read? Was it The Runaway Tamales? That was probably the last complete book I finished. However, I am currently trying to get more than a few pages into City of Girls by Elizabeth Gilbert but children’s literature rules my life. (I am going to save my other book suggestions for another post). I admire the mom that has balance with her work, her family and her personal life.

Over the last couple of years I’ve lost touch with Girls Night because it’s been just me while my husband worked in places like Kosovo or Kuwait or Puerto Rico. And on top of that I’ve been chasing a graduate degree because I want a career that is out there and productive. My life has been far less than traditional and it’s a challenge to try and create something traditional for my children to connect with and build memories.

I arrived to Girls Night with a 1000 pound worry on my chest. Everyone wants to belong and I am no different. I had the wrong day and instead of worry about getting ready, I dashed out the door in my comfortable jeans and sweater sans makeup, excited to be included. And it was FUN! Trivia Night with wine and laughter lessened the weight of the worry. Sure, I still felt a little out of sorts but I also felt a little closer to the me.

How do you stay connected to your social circle as a parent? or as a busy student? or just as a person that might be going through the thick of life?

credit: kelseychance.com